In my Bible study we are beginning to go through a couple of books. The Men are going through The Love Dare, while the women go through the Respect Dare (by Nina Roesner). (Funny, because for the first three weeks Caleb is gone for training in the Bay area). Anyways, every day is a new study that ends with a dare. Day one through like 4 were pretty much introductions to the book but the rest have been pretty deep.
These have been:
Dare 5: For this entire day don't argue with your husband about anything he says, even if you think he is completely wrong. This is not to be treated as a doormat, but rather an opportunity to discern how self-controlled you are.
Dare 6: Today while continuing to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, do one act of kindness or a chore for your husband that you know is important to him. Choose to have a positive attitude, don't expect him to notice, don't tell him you did it, and in this- love without expectation or resentment.
Dare 7: In an effort to communicate respect today, only speak words that encourage your husband, and refrain from communicating with him or about him in a way that diminishes him.
Dare 8: Write down your husbands strengths (the ones that you were aware of when you first got married). Tell your husband what you wrote down and why, and then comment to him how these strengths are still present in his character.
Dare 9: While being slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen, actively choose to extend grace to you husband. If he says something that hurts you, or forgets something of importance to you, actively choose to not take something personally.
One thing I cannot grasp yet though, which they ask in almost every dare:
"How does doing________NOT make you a doormat?"
For instance, how does overlooking an offense not make you a doormat? I'm struggling with this because for so long I was a professional doormat. I would not react to anything mean said about me and it made me feel like a trash can. Sometimes...well, no. LOTS of times it seems like the nice people just get walked all over! I see this all over my school. You have one nice girl who treats all people well, so everyone treats her like crap!
So where's the line?
Obviously I definitely see where I could lighten up being offended with Caleb, because let's be honest: he's pretty gentle with words. But I would like to understand what the line is between reacting with offense, and standing up for myself.
Not sure if people read this, but I would love some discussion on this topic.
