Four days left and every day feels like Christmas

I have been laying in my bed since 545 thinking about wedding things. There are so many details to remember and it will be amazing to me if I can really pull them all off! Things going through my mind:
Janet gets here tomorrow, and I am SOO excited for that!
We still don't have chairs for our rehearsal dinner.
I wonder where my earrings are I am going to wear to the wedding.
Where are the girls going to get ready Saturday?
Where are the guys getting ready?
Does the photographer need to know?
Have I told everyone to meet at the park at 4 for the rehearsal?
I'm so excited about our bed! I hope it gets here by friday!
Should I get more burlap for decorating? How much is it?

I wish it was later in the day than it is, because then I could actually figure some of these things out!

I am SOO excited to get married!! I have butterflies in my stomach every day!

I have decided that someone should invent an instant clothes washer/dryer. Kind of like a microwave, but not to cook clothes..."When I have one article of clothing I need washed, I simply toss it into the Microlatherator, and twenty seconds later it's cleaned, dried, and ready to go!" I bet that already exists. I wish I registered for one.

Tuesday mornings I watch kids for Bible studies at church. I usually watch the one-to-two year-olds, but last week I watched the two-to-three year-olds. Both groups are a lot of fun. It's an amazing challenge to keep them all under control, but it's great. I think I am supposed to go this morning, but I never got a call from the coordinator of childcare. On one hand I know they are short on workers, but on the other hand I could really get a lot done for the wedding if I start before noon...I think I'll go, because I always enjoy it..and because I have TONS of time to plan my wedding!..ok, not so much the latter.

My aunt called me last night to stress me out. Not really, but it felt like it a little. She said, "well, since it's GOING to rain, do you have a tent on hand for me and the cake??" My thought was: WHAT?!! It's going to rain??! But...but I've been watching the weather forecast and it says it's not!
Ok, I'm really praying it doesn't rain, but I wasn't too worried about it until I remembered all of the things that shouldn't get wet. People are okay, decorations are okay, but what about cake and sound equipment?...Perhaps I should have one tent there in case that happens. Maybe I can just get a tent for the dance floor and if it rains I can display the cake there and put the sound equipment under the edge.

OK...I just checked the weather again and it says it's going to be partly cloudy, with a high of 71 and a low of 56. See? Perfect weather! :) We have nothing to worry about!

Home is where? & Static light show

We got most of my stuff over to the Princeton house today! Not only that! We even got a little settled in! I set up my library and we rearranged the living room. It feels SO much better. Today was the first day I have felt cozy and at home there. That feels good. We got some of our presents situated into cupboards and I set my desk up. AH! That will be my HOME next week! That's pretty weird. And great. :)
I have noticed I don't do well with transition times. It's strange to have my things at one place and to sleep at another place. I packed a bag for the next couple of nights
Did I mention I LOVE removing labels!? It's strangely addicting...a little like de-fragmenting a computer. We have a few root beer bottles that came with labels. Most of them came without labels. I have set myself to taking labels off by soaking them in water, then using an old fashioned replacement razor blade I cleanly remove the paper part. 
....
I just took a few minutes to fold clothes from the dryer. Upon starting, I could tell that whoever moved them over forget to put in a dryer sheet. So i decided to fold them in the dark so I could see the sparks. :)
That was difficult because once I got through about half of the basket I started to not recognize the clothes. I guess I was sharing a basket with someone else. So I went to turn on the lights and heard what sounded like a gun outside. I locked the door and went back to folding. I had done pretty well for folding in the dark! I'm used to dressing in the dark in the morning because Beth sleeps later than I do. When I sat down I realized the gunfire was not gunfire at all, because I could see fireworks out my window! Apparently something pretty legit is happening at Fresno State! That was almost the quality of the fourth of July, and I could see the whole thing quite well from my back window! Fun surprise.
PS, I love my dog. He follows me everywhere and just falls asleep at my feet wherever I am. He's at my feet right now. None of my roommates are home so without him I would be feeling lonely.
Tomorrow will be our last Sunday as an unmarried couple. I have butterflies in my stomach...of course that might be because I am listening to the song I will walk down the aisle to... :)

One mo' week. I put bleach in the pool.

I hate our pool. The green stresses me out. But mostly I hate the mosquito larvae, because we could get in trouble for having them. It is not our responsibility to take care of the pool, but the landlords have NEVER done it. Yesterday I was feeling itchy, thinking about the day when all of those larvae mature. SO I went to the laundry room and grabbed a bottle of laundry bleach. I poured the whole bottle into the pool, and at first it looked like there was no change, but a few hours later the pool looked a lighter shade of green! This morning it is even better AND there are no larvae! YAY! I feel better already.
I woke up early because I could not sleep any more. I made the mistake of going to bed at 10. I woke up at midnight thinking it felt like 7am. It wasn't.
So I'm up and rested and ready for the day. Good thing too, because today I move the rest of my stuff over to Caleb's. I will pack a bag for this week so that I can just stay here at the girls' house until then. Luckily Alex wants my mattress, so i could probably even just use that while I'm here. Janet and Anna will probably be staying here Thursday and Friday night...and maybe Saturday night (after the wedding).
Last night I had a lot of fun with Alex and Beth. Alex and I went dress shopping...and found nothing. Then The three of us went out to Madera to get some weeds for wedding decorations. In the dark. That was pretty fun. We came back with a trunk full of weeds...and a cricket. He might still be in Beth's trunk.
Beth ordered us a guest book for the wedding and it come in yesterday so we got to pick that up! It looks AWESOME!!! :)
Off to attempt  move out of my room without waking Beth up. Ha...

9 days. Last day of employment

Today was my last day with Joel, and I was actually pretty sad to go. I also felt a little worried...like maybe he won't get taken care of as well as he needs to be. I know what he likes and how to respond to him, but I'm worried someone else won't. It was also tough because now I am unemployed (aside from 6 hours a week grocery shopping for Mary Virginia). It's scary to think about starting something new...
I almost finished putting music together this morning/afternoon. I still have to finalize some of the reception songs.
Caleb and I were supposed to go downtown together and look for photography spots, but he ended up having to work late... I sometimes just really hate it when my expectations are unmet...kinda throws me off.
So I went downtown with Bethani and we mapped it all out and found some pretty good places in the art district.
I am really tired of being busy. It seems like since the day I graduated I have been busy planning, so I kinda wonder what it might be like to take it easy...
ok, I'm seriously exhausted. I have to sleep.

10 days...and tomorrow I get to check the extended forecast

I feel that time is short, but at the same time I do not feel rushed. Planning is going as smooth as ever these days. I designed (pretty proud of it) and printed up our programs, and I LOVE them!! They are perfect! I also bought a staple gun, unity sand, ordered flowers, set up transportation, met with the coordinator, finished pre-marital counseling...and tons of other things. And I even had time to babysit 13 two-year-olds Tuesday!
Taking it one day at a time. BUT...today we ordered our bed!!..after MUCH laboring. I think we have visited mattress stores more than ten times in the past month or so. We KNOW what kind of bed we want though. I am SO excited to sleep on it!
So we have a week and a half left, and I would like to be moved by Saturday night so I will just be living out of a suitcase the past week and sleeping on the hide-a-bed. It would be nice to be finished with all of the "emergency" things for the wedding so that I will have no freak-out moments next week.
I keep falling asleep, so off to bed. Tomorrow is my last day with Joel. Now I really have to find a job!

That Kind of Love. 13 days (10-10-10)

I have always had a soft heart for adoption. There's a deep and painful beauty in it. There are a handful of families in our Church who have taken children into their families and as they dedicate them to the service of the Lord I am always moved. What a profound picture of the Love of our Father for us. He chooses to adopt us into His Family even though He sees the future pain we will bring Him. He sees the cost of bringing us sin-ravaged, helpless, afraid children under His roof. He knows that we will reject Him and argue with Him. And yet He still wants us. He still longs to share His Name with us, to give us all of the benefits that come from being His kin.
A little boy, Micah, was dedicated in the Cafe today, and his story was that he was left unwanted in a gutter, left for dead. This couple took him into their home knowing that for the rest of his life, they will be probably caring for him hand-and-foot. He has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, and he has had a ton of medical issues. And yet...KNOWING this, they still chose him. I can't find the word for how this hits me...It's beautiful, but not in the way that the world defines beauty. It's the kind of love that you read about in stories. The kind of love I wish I could give, day-in and day-out. But deep down I know that it's "too uncomfortable" for me.

Petra introduced me to a new show called World of Jenks. I didn't expect to like it, being that it's on MTV...But she showed me three episodes and I can't stop thinking about it. This guy, Jenks, is a movie maker of some type...maybe a video journalist. But every week he goes and spends life in a different environment by entering the life of another person. The first episode I saw was one where he spent the week with an autistic guy about his age. He lived with his family and went to classes with him, took him to the city, and to the beach. None of this was to be a charity worker or to make himself look good... actually most of the time he confronted with his own prejudices or presumptions about "that kind of person." Every time he lets go of his own world and opens his eyes to see the uniqueness and depth of other humans, he is blown away by their lives and is deeply touched by them. I want to approach friendships like that! That is beautiful! "I want to know you" is such a rare thought in daily interactions and I think we're missing out. I am anyways. That's the kind of love Jesus had as he spent time with tax collectors and prostitutes! That's the kind of love we SHOULD be pursuing!

These things seem unattainable right now. I know I want to love like the couple who took that baby into their lives. I want to love like the man who spends a week living "houseless" on the streets of California. How God?

We got a LOT done for the wedding today! We bought all of our cups, plates, cake plates, silverware, serving utensils, cleaning supplies for scouring the park bathrooms the day before, hat for the ring bearer, shoes for the flower girl, pants for the last groomsman, table cloth for the food table, and serving plates for the dinner. I can't believe how many hours we were on our feet. My shoes are made of wood and leather with no arches. Ouch. Fells good to get that done. We literally had to go to ALL of the store's locations around fresno to get all of the plates and napkins we needed. Cleaned the stores out.

Wendy and Andres got married last night, and it was a beautiful wedding! It's fun to go to wedding after having planned one. That was the last wedding we will have to chase bouquets or garters! Yeah! :)

I already know how fast the work week goes, and that means that at the end of this week we will have only one more week left! I'm not worried though. We'll square away the rentals and order flowers tomorrow. Everything's falling into place. Janet's coming the Wednesday before, and I am SOOOO happy to see her!! It's been almost three years since I saw her at HER wedding!

15 days and I'm doin fine :)

God bless Excel.
I have not been stressed AT ALL in a couple of days!! And I don't think I will! It feels SO good to know I am not forgetting anything!
I bought a few things I needed from Michael's today. My garter, some hair stuff, floral tape, and I looked at a few second hand stores to try and find a vintage suitcase and some giant curtains for decorating. No luck though.

Marie has been doing some research on rental places and she suggested we go with a different place than we had already decided. The only reason is that Walker-Lewis Rents does not do Saturday deliveries, but Expo does for a tiny fee of $30!! I will pay thirty dollars to not have to coordinate getting a trailer and making sure it all gets returned the following monday. Heck yes!! AND their prices are a tiny bit better. We will confirm on monday. I can't believe there are only two weeks left!! That's amazing! Time has seriously FLOWN by!

Wendy and Andres are getting married tomorrow and Wendy is REALLY stressed. I really don't want to be freaking out the last couple of days, so I hope everything just happens and I can wipe my hands of it all as I pass off responsibility to my coordinator at the rehearsal.

My planned wedding party transportation cancelled on me so I now need to find a 12-passenger van to rent, or ideally to borrow. I am praying that there is just someone in the Church who has one sitting around that we can use for the day and just have someone take back sunday, otherwise we will have to rent a car from saturday to monday because most car rental places are not open sunday. actually I think none are. No problem though. That's something that takes like a few minutes to set up.

I think the next major thing to do is the programs or the music.

16 days (that's 2x8) I LOVE EXCEL!!!!

I am not quite sure why I never caught on to it earlier. I knew about it all along. Used it in high school.

Today I sat down and organized my wedding thoughts into an Excel spreadsheet. It feels SO NICE to have all of my "worries" in one place!! Karen sent me hers she used for her planning, and so I kind of went from there and got it all together.

It's pretty great. Now I have a pretty concrete list of the remaining things i have to do for the wedding. You know those Paint-By-Number posters? When I think of all I have to do I picture that. When you start filling in the colors it just looks like chaos, but as the little circles slowly fill in as they were mean to the picture begins to emerge in all it's complexity and beauty. That's what it looks like in my heat...Just a few more circles to paint in and we will have a WEDDING!! :)

17 days. Tired of saying goodbye...

Goodness. I am really looking forward to spending evenings and nights with Caleb. It's tough to only see him for 15 minutes in the morning, and three hours or less after he gets off work. So lame.

I'm looking forward to not stressing anymore. I noticed today that even if I can't do enything for the wedding, I am still stressing about it. SO unfair. I can't take a day off because then I worry all day that there is something I am missing.

I need a vacation.

I found out that my mom has enough money to come to my wedding!! I'm really excited. I knew everyone would make it somehow, but they are all broke, so I knew it would probably be a stretch.

Still not sure if my sis and Natasha will make it to the bachelorette party. I really hope so.

I am pretty excited because my emotions seem to be under control a lot more than they have been for four months. I have not even cried in over a week! That is impressive.

17 days is really short. 16 is shorter. That's insane...

19 days. shut. up. 18 days is only two nines!!

This morning I had jury duty. Yes. 19 days before my wedding. I have never served on a jury so I didn't know what to expect. But, it wasn't much different than I thought. Cranky people who don't want to be there. The most "educated" of all of them make SURE to loudly proclaim why they should not have to be there, because they are a dentist, or a retired lawyer, or a manager of 35 workers.
It entailed a lot of sitting around. I had to be there early because of the whole car-sharing thing. I got released by 11:30 because of "economic hardship," which is actually a legitimate excuse. I'm only getting about 6 hours a week, and without that I will not be able to pay rent.

Petra picked me up and we went to go jump start her car battery. When we got there we realized her back window was busted in. Someone had broken in to her car sometime between 2am and noon. We called the cops and they said they would not come out because they are too short staffed. Beautiful...

Petra and I picked Jason up from Table Mountain around four. We almost got in an accident in the garage. Both cars skidded. I hate that feeling after adrenaline.

Caleb picked me up after 430 for our chiropractic appointment at 5. We almost hit a trash can lid, then a trash can that someone lost from their truck on the way there. I have never done the chiropractic thing. I popped a lot! I felt SO much taller afterward. :)

We went to Chipotle for dinner. I love chipotle.

After that we went and picked up two of our Young Life kids for club. They make me laugh a lot. One is named Anthony, and the other is Chris, but he goes by "Beaver," which I guess is his middle name.
Twenty minutes later we arrived at club. Christen Morrow was there!!! I was SO happy to see her.

Club was a "hang-out night" so we just did games. There were a couple of new boys, and they made me laugh. One of them had brought his "robo-kitty" named Sophie.

After club my body started aching. I think there was too much adrenaline in this day...that and I think there is too much lactic acid in my body from the shocker machine at our appointment.

I could really use a hot bath. SO glad I don't have jury duty tomorrow!

20 days. Garage, favors, & tempur cloud- supreme

Yesterday was a long day. Care connections started at 8:15, and immediately afterwords Marie and I headed over to the house to clean out Grandpa Leo's garage. The day was SO HOT!! and we got a LOT done. The plan was to set out a pile of garage junk to take to goodwill. We did and the neighbors came and took literally all of it! That saved us a LOT of trouble. It looks GOOD!! :)
Today Caleb and I finished the wedding favors! That feels nice.
I remember when Wendy posted a status saying "only 20 more days!!" I remember thinking that was REALLY SOON. Now we are there. Geeze. 20 days. I am SO excited to be done planning...but I'm not sure all of the strings are tied.
We have decided we really like the new tempur-pedic cloud supreme. It's AMAZING!! I love just laying on it for like 5 minutes, because even that short amount of time makes my back feel considerably better. 
Really. I can't believe it. 20 days!!

22 days and getting crazier by the day

I showed up to work today at 8:15, thinking I had to have Joel ready by nine. My boss came out confused. Then I remembered. 1) I had told Lisa she could have this morning, and 2) today is NOT a normal schedule, therefore Joel does not need to be ready until 10! Two strikes against me before nine...