Pickle

I have a decision to make.
I interviewed for a job in Laton (about 35 min south).
I would be a one-on-one aide for an autistic 5-year-old.
It would be SO good for both that girl and her older sister to have me there with the experience I do.
The interview went great and they called me back that night to see if I want to move forward with the hiring process. I told them I would call the next morning.
I checked the job description and it only pays 9.45/ hr.
I had no other leads so I told her to go ahead.
Right after I get off the phone with her I got a call from Clovis Unified saying they pulled my resume off the internet and were VERY interested in getting me in for an interview.
I would have a probationary period where I would be a substitute, but then I would move into a more permanent position (all with severely disabled students).
I checked their job posing.
It pays almost three dollars more per hour.

My predicament is that I know that Clovis kids kind of have it handed to them. They have the best program, the most money allotted them, and the finest facilities.
Laton kids have teachers who have never had experience with talking devices or sign language, and they have the LEAST amount of money given them for their programs.

What to do?

The thing I keep thinking is that the whole reason I went back to school was because of my experience in Romania.
We helped in a kindergarten for kids with disabilities. It was an immaculate building, with lots of equipment, but the faculty did not have the training they needed to utilize the equipent to its capacity. So the kids were only able to receice sub-par rehabilitation and education (AKA they taught them to color in the lines..).

My goal for education was to return to the states and receive training that I could bring back to facilities like this.

That was my goal, and I don't want to lose sight of that.

But three dollars more an hour...

I think I know the answer...

More Car Shopping & a Potential Job!

We've kind of let up on the car hunt as of late. It seemed a little pointless after hitting so many lots and coming up empty on results. It feels good to not hunt so intensely. It's been a better week.
Caleb has another out-of-town job trip this weekend so we will be going down to Anaheim area and staying right next to DISNEY LAND!! :) I think we're even staying in the castle hotel. :) I love being married!
We were going to spend sunday in the park, but be agreed that wo should just go into the free area with all of the little shops, then we can spend the rest of the day looking at possible cars in that area. Better prices.
There are so many more options in that area! It would be really nice to come home with our second car!
Keep praying! :)
Today I got a phone call from Laton Elementary saying they would like to have me in for an interview on Wednasday at 1:00pm. Oh boy!! I am SO excited to finally have my foot in the door. I was suggested the job by the childrens ministries co-director at church. I volunteer there once a week and usually have 12-15 two-year-olds running around. Aparently her daughter works with some autistic children out in clovis, and it just turned out that the day after I spoke with her, her daughter had a co-worker walk out on the class! So, open position!! I applied yesterday, and got called for the interview today! Praise God.
So we'll see. I know it's an older class and I was hoping for a younger class of mild-to-moderate and not necessissarily autistic, but I'll take what I can get! There's also a chance they may only hire me as a substitute, but that would be ok...I would just have to have a different class every day...eesh...SO pray I get a special ed ASSISTANT position. :)

Something pretty nuts happened today at work (grocery shopping 6 hours a weeek). I had just returned from the store and was putting food away in the garage, when I heard a thump and a scream inside. So I (literaly) threw the groceries all over the garage floor and ran inside. My boss had fallen onto the floor next to the fridge. I ran up and told her to stay still, but she insisted she was fine after she caught her breath. Then she insisted I let her try to get up herself, just in case something like this happens when I'm NOT there (God forbid). It took her a while an a little coaching, but she did it! She actually made it back up! I was really relieved she could do it. Makes me feel better about leaving her there alone.

Ha, I just remembered another thing that happened at work (this was on wed). I went to Save Mart and got serenaded by the bagger. He has Down Syndrome, but it definitely made my day. He had taken my groceries to my car as usual, then he told me he was the real replacement Elvis. Then he sang to me "I'll Have A Blue Christmas"...shaking his leg like elvis and holding up an imaginary micriphone. :)

Car Hunting and Crappy Camrys

What a fiasco. My prediction was that after the wedding our lives woud slow down and we would get into some kind of a groove. The wedding happened. The honeymoon happened. Then the Camry decided to become a lost cause. That presented us wth the task of finding two new cars in one month. Fun...

Caleb'c car actually was the easiest to find. It only took four days to look at it and seal the deal. He found a Pathfinder on ebay which happened to be located out in Clovis. It had the carfax report already online so that helped ease our minds about it. One owner, lesss than 100k miles, big enough to hold Caleb's bass and yet still let me sit in the passenger seat! :) All for the low price of $7900. Our buget is about 8-9 grand per vehicle. I think it is going to be a great car. We're praying it does not require a lot of mainenance.

We had thought that the SUV would be the harder one to find at that price, but we got really "lucky" there...or maybe people are tryingt to pinch pennies so they are avoiding the gass guzzlers.

We have hit over 15 car dealerships in the past week.
10 this weekend.
5 today.

My gosh. I hate car salesmen. Officially. They literally all have the same modus operandi.
Locate a customer.
Approach for the kill.
Introduce. Shake hands.
Ask for what they are looking for.
Ask price range. Get contact information.
Show customer crappy cars just under price range. Mostly KIA and Hyundi.
Show customer one that is "about in their price range" (eaning 4000 more than their budget).
Tell them it's "the best car for the money. You're not going to find anything better than THIS"

After the customer says "it's kind of out of our price range" they say, "well what would you say if I could get this to around your price range? Do you think this could be "the one"?
Customer hesitates and during that pause the salesman puts the keys in their face and says "why don't you just give it a drive".
So the customer takes it for a drive. Likes it, but still leery about the price.
After the test drive the salesman says "well how did you like it?" of course the customer likes the car that's worth $4000 above their budget. Better car. Doesn't smell like cigarettes.
Then he invites them inside to sit while he goes to "see what he can do." He of course closes the door when he goes in to speak with the sales manager. Sales manager comes out. Shakes hands. Coy smile.
Gets out paper and writes numbers, then more numbers. Then says, "THIS is what we can do for you. We can cut $100 off the asking price"(...still a good $2500 over blue book...), "and if you add taxes and fees and taxes for fees and finders cost and inspection fees...it looks like it comes out to...11995!" (very consistently this number comes up) "is that about what your budget is?" My GOSH people. Really. A little communication. After the customer has sat there haggling for four hours all they want to do is go home and go to bed! These poor people! They've just wasted both peoples' time.

Another ploy is to show the customer crummy cars and talk the ENTIRE drive. "...Duel side air bags, great suspension, solid wheel base, AM/FM stereo, moon roof, cruise control..." Then when he runs through the list, he starts over, "...duel side air bags, great suspen..." The customer cant even listen to the engine, much less identify if this car is worth buying!

Aside from lots we have dabbled a bit in internet advertising. Caleb's car was from ebay, as I said, but today we called on a few Craigslist ads. What a piece of crap. This kid shows up at the Rite Aid Parking lot with his dad's Camry. Nice looking on the outside. At a closer look the tires are a bit old, the coolant is almost dry, the spare is bald, the belt is cracked. Upon starting the car, the engine light was not on...but having done a bit of research I knew to check that it even came on at startup briefly with the rest of the lights. No. Someone had puled the check engine lightbulb! I mean MY GOSH!! We could have bought the car thinking it just needed new tires and a fill-up on coolant! We asked the kid questions as we drove and he had almost NO answers. Al he could say was "IIIIImmm....not sure...you'll have to ask my dad" We couldn't even find out when the brakes were last done, if the Transmission had been flushed, if the battery was new, if the coolant had been flushed. How is a person suppose to make an informed decision on a car without that kind of information?!! Do they think we're morons? Who would even buy a car without that kind of information? Then as we drove it on the freeway the tires buzzed intermittantly (uneven wear). We just happened to ask him if the title was clean, and NO. he kid said, "no, but really I think salvaged titles are the way to go, because usually it's just a little bumper damage. You can get so much better of a car for the price that way!" Really. After we left him with his car, we waited at Caleb's car a bit because we wanted to check the fluid levels. After we left the lot the car was still there. The kid had left and we actually saw him walking home! What??

I am SO stoked for the day when we don't have to spend every evening car shopping.
I miss my friends.

Crockpots and Cockroaches

My, it takes a lot of work to run a house! I feel like I am constantly doing dishes, washing laundry, or running errands. On top of getting things squared away with bank accounts and name changes, we are also trying to figure out what to do with Caleb's car. Cars can be so infuriating sometimes....and for me it seems that way most of the time. I may have bad car luck though. We found out that he needs to retire his car by the middle of January. It will cost too much to fix the emissions related problems. What a waste of an otherwise perfectly good car. Infuriating. We now have to buy two "new" cars by the beginning of next year. And I seriously hate used-car shopping. One of the worst experiences I have had was finding my Saturn last year...which lasted until a couple of months ago. One consolation is that this may be the best time for us to do car payments. It will only take us three years to pay them off and right now we really have no other major expenses. No rent, no mortgage, no children, and no student loans. So really it may be a blessing that this happened right now. Still frustrating though.

I made my first crock-pot meal Wednesday night and it was really good! I have been staring at the "fix-and-forget-it" cookbook for a few weeks so I decided to give it a shot. But I only gave myself three hours...I soon found that a recipe like this can be finished quicker on the stove. Very nice.
I did not follow one recipe because I did not have all of the ingredients for just one, so I kinda made it up as I went. I will add the recipe because it turned out awesome! Note, I do not really keep track of quantities. Just a dash of this and a hand-full of that:

I'll call it "Spicy Chicken Stew"

~1/2 cup salsa
2 cup Chicken broth
a few red potatos (skin on)
1 small sized Garnish Yam
a few sticks of celery
a hand full of carrots
1/4 of a large yellow onion
1/2 red bell pepper
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (for some kick)
a dash or three of Italian seasoning (to be fancy)
One pre-cooked (boiled in broth) chicken breast

Directions:
Chop all veggies and meat to desired size and put in crockpot with all other ingredients. Turn on high for 4-6 hours. Or cook for three hours and finish by boiling in large pot over stove.

So simple even I could do it. :)
The Yams really give it a good sweet flavor to add to the salty of the broth. I'm a huge fan of the "salty & sweet" combo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The trouble with old houses is...are...well there are plenty of problems with old houses, but when you do not pay rent, those problems are worth it. I cleaned the bathrooms the other day. I don't think they have been thoroughly cleaned in decades. I found urine in places that amazed me.
We have a little bug problem. I would guess that this house has had this problem for many years because we found over ten cans or roach Raid in the garage when we were cleaning it out. The problem has diminished and I had thought it would simply go away with a little feminine care, but alas sometimes we have to call in the professionals. Our bug man came in yesterday and put out some roach poison gel into the hinges of all of the cupboards. We even found one immediately going for it. One thing many people know about me is that I HATE cockroaches more than almost anything ( I say "almost" because I am sure there has to be something that is worse, but I honestly cannot think of it right now). The story fast-forwards to this afternoon when I let my friend into the house. As I opened the door I noticed a good sized roach dead on the floor. (I realize as I am writing this that none of my friends are going to want to visit me after reading this...but the story must be told). I picked it up with a paper towel, and while I did so, I noticed another (much smaller) dead on the floor. I got him too. Then it hit me. The poison is working. But it also hit me, that these creepy creatures were taking their last revenge on me. I knew it would not be the last of the bugs I would be cleaning up that afternoon. When my friend left at four I knew I had a half-an-hour until I needed to leave to get Caleb from work. I was hoping to get a nap before that happened...but I knew it was futile. I got to work, feeling the shiver go down my spine. I opened the silverware drawer and there were two dead roaches inside. I pulled everything out and cleaned them out. Then SO reluctantly opened another drawer. Three, four dead bugs. This continued on until I had finished the drawers, then I got to the floor. There were even a few there. I cleaned it all up and took the trash outside. Just in case.
Did I mention I HATE cockroaches?!! I have the willies just thinking about them.

I love our home though.
I love it better now that the bugs are gone.

Turbid waters, Self-pity & Mind Renewal

I was forewarned that marriage would stretch me to need to be more selfless.
It's true.
A good friend told me that marriage tends to be a bit of an adjustment, but the way she explained it makes total sense now.
She said that the joining of two lives is like the coming-together of two rivers.
She said at first the two rivers are floating along just fine at their own pace, following their own course influencing the world on their own.
But then the two rivers converge and there is crashing and splashing and tumult, but then eventually the two rivers as they flow as one begin to settle into one pace and the chaos stills as they learn to flow as one.
I like that.

We got a card as a wedding present and I love what it said because it reminded me of this.

"A wedding is like the joining together
of two streams forming a new river. This
river will follow a new course as it moves
through landscapes that have never been
explored before. The purity of its waters ,
blessed by God, will bring life, love,
strength, and beauty. As the river travels
through seasons and change, there will
be many tributaries that feed into it, each
bringing its unique gifts, blessings, and
joys. In time, the river will grow in width,
in depth, and its influence upon the
lives of those who rest by its banks and
are refreshed by its presence."-Roy Lessin

This past week has been one of learning each other. Caleb is really clean, tidy, and considerate so there really isn't anything he does around the house that makes me upset. I am also not very particular about things like toilet paper direction, toilet seat position, or really anything in that category. But I am realizing that he is a little bit more particular than I am, which is fine. It just takes a lot more learning on my part. I am realizing that I tend to have a little bit more of a rebellious nature than I thought. I caught myself being pretty pouty one night at all of the things I have to remember.
I find myself having to pray for a servant's heart. It's good for me though. Really good.

Another friend warned me before marriage that insecurity may rear its ugly head early on in marriage. I think in a different sense than she warned, this has been true for me. But the thing I found the most helpful was her advice, because I find that when I worry about something or am just feeling self-pity it tends to take over my brain and temporarily incapacitate the freedom of my thoughts. She said that I must take every thought captive to the lordship of Christ. So I have been praying that prayer when I feel selfish, just surrendering my fears and feelings of inadequacy or self-pity. It's incredible how instant the relief comes!

Marriage

How beautiful is marriage!
It's not at all what I expected.
I expected it to be difficult. I expected to struggle through service. I expected it to be more difficult to communicate after marriage. I expected less romance and more of a struggle to blend two lives. I expected to be insecure and unable to meet expectations. I expected more tension between us.

It's been nothing like I expected.

I seriously LOVE being married. I love the pureness and cleanness I feel. I love the openness and ease of communicating about everything. I love the acceptance for every aspect of me. I was seriously surprised to enjoy serving him! I love the security I feel in his love and I love how that pours over into my interactions with other people. I love how it helps me to understand God's love. I love seeing how God has extravagantly poured out His blessings on us even though we absolutely don't deserve it.

I know it's only week two, but I am going to believe it only gets better from here.

Four days left and every day feels like Christmas

I have been laying in my bed since 545 thinking about wedding things. There are so many details to remember and it will be amazing to me if I can really pull them all off! Things going through my mind:
Janet gets here tomorrow, and I am SOO excited for that!
We still don't have chairs for our rehearsal dinner.
I wonder where my earrings are I am going to wear to the wedding.
Where are the girls going to get ready Saturday?
Where are the guys getting ready?
Does the photographer need to know?
Have I told everyone to meet at the park at 4 for the rehearsal?
I'm so excited about our bed! I hope it gets here by friday!
Should I get more burlap for decorating? How much is it?

I wish it was later in the day than it is, because then I could actually figure some of these things out!

I am SOO excited to get married!! I have butterflies in my stomach every day!

I have decided that someone should invent an instant clothes washer/dryer. Kind of like a microwave, but not to cook clothes..."When I have one article of clothing I need washed, I simply toss it into the Microlatherator, and twenty seconds later it's cleaned, dried, and ready to go!" I bet that already exists. I wish I registered for one.

Tuesday mornings I watch kids for Bible studies at church. I usually watch the one-to-two year-olds, but last week I watched the two-to-three year-olds. Both groups are a lot of fun. It's an amazing challenge to keep them all under control, but it's great. I think I am supposed to go this morning, but I never got a call from the coordinator of childcare. On one hand I know they are short on workers, but on the other hand I could really get a lot done for the wedding if I start before noon...I think I'll go, because I always enjoy it..and because I have TONS of time to plan my wedding!..ok, not so much the latter.

My aunt called me last night to stress me out. Not really, but it felt like it a little. She said, "well, since it's GOING to rain, do you have a tent on hand for me and the cake??" My thought was: WHAT?!! It's going to rain??! But...but I've been watching the weather forecast and it says it's not!
Ok, I'm really praying it doesn't rain, but I wasn't too worried about it until I remembered all of the things that shouldn't get wet. People are okay, decorations are okay, but what about cake and sound equipment?...Perhaps I should have one tent there in case that happens. Maybe I can just get a tent for the dance floor and if it rains I can display the cake there and put the sound equipment under the edge.

OK...I just checked the weather again and it says it's going to be partly cloudy, with a high of 71 and a low of 56. See? Perfect weather! :) We have nothing to worry about!

Home is where? & Static light show

We got most of my stuff over to the Princeton house today! Not only that! We even got a little settled in! I set up my library and we rearranged the living room. It feels SO much better. Today was the first day I have felt cozy and at home there. That feels good. We got some of our presents situated into cupboards and I set my desk up. AH! That will be my HOME next week! That's pretty weird. And great. :)
I have noticed I don't do well with transition times. It's strange to have my things at one place and to sleep at another place. I packed a bag for the next couple of nights
Did I mention I LOVE removing labels!? It's strangely addicting...a little like de-fragmenting a computer. We have a few root beer bottles that came with labels. Most of them came without labels. I have set myself to taking labels off by soaking them in water, then using an old fashioned replacement razor blade I cleanly remove the paper part. 
....
I just took a few minutes to fold clothes from the dryer. Upon starting, I could tell that whoever moved them over forget to put in a dryer sheet. So i decided to fold them in the dark so I could see the sparks. :)
That was difficult because once I got through about half of the basket I started to not recognize the clothes. I guess I was sharing a basket with someone else. So I went to turn on the lights and heard what sounded like a gun outside. I locked the door and went back to folding. I had done pretty well for folding in the dark! I'm used to dressing in the dark in the morning because Beth sleeps later than I do. When I sat down I realized the gunfire was not gunfire at all, because I could see fireworks out my window! Apparently something pretty legit is happening at Fresno State! That was almost the quality of the fourth of July, and I could see the whole thing quite well from my back window! Fun surprise.
PS, I love my dog. He follows me everywhere and just falls asleep at my feet wherever I am. He's at my feet right now. None of my roommates are home so without him I would be feeling lonely.
Tomorrow will be our last Sunday as an unmarried couple. I have butterflies in my stomach...of course that might be because I am listening to the song I will walk down the aisle to... :)

One mo' week. I put bleach in the pool.

I hate our pool. The green stresses me out. But mostly I hate the mosquito larvae, because we could get in trouble for having them. It is not our responsibility to take care of the pool, but the landlords have NEVER done it. Yesterday I was feeling itchy, thinking about the day when all of those larvae mature. SO I went to the laundry room and grabbed a bottle of laundry bleach. I poured the whole bottle into the pool, and at first it looked like there was no change, but a few hours later the pool looked a lighter shade of green! This morning it is even better AND there are no larvae! YAY! I feel better already.
I woke up early because I could not sleep any more. I made the mistake of going to bed at 10. I woke up at midnight thinking it felt like 7am. It wasn't.
So I'm up and rested and ready for the day. Good thing too, because today I move the rest of my stuff over to Caleb's. I will pack a bag for this week so that I can just stay here at the girls' house until then. Luckily Alex wants my mattress, so i could probably even just use that while I'm here. Janet and Anna will probably be staying here Thursday and Friday night...and maybe Saturday night (after the wedding).
Last night I had a lot of fun with Alex and Beth. Alex and I went dress shopping...and found nothing. Then The three of us went out to Madera to get some weeds for wedding decorations. In the dark. That was pretty fun. We came back with a trunk full of weeds...and a cricket. He might still be in Beth's trunk.
Beth ordered us a guest book for the wedding and it come in yesterday so we got to pick that up! It looks AWESOME!!! :)
Off to attempt  move out of my room without waking Beth up. Ha...

9 days. Last day of employment

Today was my last day with Joel, and I was actually pretty sad to go. I also felt a little worried...like maybe he won't get taken care of as well as he needs to be. I know what he likes and how to respond to him, but I'm worried someone else won't. It was also tough because now I am unemployed (aside from 6 hours a week grocery shopping for Mary Virginia). It's scary to think about starting something new...
I almost finished putting music together this morning/afternoon. I still have to finalize some of the reception songs.
Caleb and I were supposed to go downtown together and look for photography spots, but he ended up having to work late... I sometimes just really hate it when my expectations are unmet...kinda throws me off.
So I went downtown with Bethani and we mapped it all out and found some pretty good places in the art district.
I am really tired of being busy. It seems like since the day I graduated I have been busy planning, so I kinda wonder what it might be like to take it easy...
ok, I'm seriously exhausted. I have to sleep.

10 days...and tomorrow I get to check the extended forecast

I feel that time is short, but at the same time I do not feel rushed. Planning is going as smooth as ever these days. I designed (pretty proud of it) and printed up our programs, and I LOVE them!! They are perfect! I also bought a staple gun, unity sand, ordered flowers, set up transportation, met with the coordinator, finished pre-marital counseling...and tons of other things. And I even had time to babysit 13 two-year-olds Tuesday!
Taking it one day at a time. BUT...today we ordered our bed!!..after MUCH laboring. I think we have visited mattress stores more than ten times in the past month or so. We KNOW what kind of bed we want though. I am SO excited to sleep on it!
So we have a week and a half left, and I would like to be moved by Saturday night so I will just be living out of a suitcase the past week and sleeping on the hide-a-bed. It would be nice to be finished with all of the "emergency" things for the wedding so that I will have no freak-out moments next week.
I keep falling asleep, so off to bed. Tomorrow is my last day with Joel. Now I really have to find a job!

That Kind of Love. 13 days (10-10-10)

I have always had a soft heart for adoption. There's a deep and painful beauty in it. There are a handful of families in our Church who have taken children into their families and as they dedicate them to the service of the Lord I am always moved. What a profound picture of the Love of our Father for us. He chooses to adopt us into His Family even though He sees the future pain we will bring Him. He sees the cost of bringing us sin-ravaged, helpless, afraid children under His roof. He knows that we will reject Him and argue with Him. And yet He still wants us. He still longs to share His Name with us, to give us all of the benefits that come from being His kin.
A little boy, Micah, was dedicated in the Cafe today, and his story was that he was left unwanted in a gutter, left for dead. This couple took him into their home knowing that for the rest of his life, they will be probably caring for him hand-and-foot. He has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, and he has had a ton of medical issues. And yet...KNOWING this, they still chose him. I can't find the word for how this hits me...It's beautiful, but not in the way that the world defines beauty. It's the kind of love that you read about in stories. The kind of love I wish I could give, day-in and day-out. But deep down I know that it's "too uncomfortable" for me.

Petra introduced me to a new show called World of Jenks. I didn't expect to like it, being that it's on MTV...But she showed me three episodes and I can't stop thinking about it. This guy, Jenks, is a movie maker of some type...maybe a video journalist. But every week he goes and spends life in a different environment by entering the life of another person. The first episode I saw was one where he spent the week with an autistic guy about his age. He lived with his family and went to classes with him, took him to the city, and to the beach. None of this was to be a charity worker or to make himself look good... actually most of the time he confronted with his own prejudices or presumptions about "that kind of person." Every time he lets go of his own world and opens his eyes to see the uniqueness and depth of other humans, he is blown away by their lives and is deeply touched by them. I want to approach friendships like that! That is beautiful! "I want to know you" is such a rare thought in daily interactions and I think we're missing out. I am anyways. That's the kind of love Jesus had as he spent time with tax collectors and prostitutes! That's the kind of love we SHOULD be pursuing!

These things seem unattainable right now. I know I want to love like the couple who took that baby into their lives. I want to love like the man who spends a week living "houseless" on the streets of California. How God?

We got a LOT done for the wedding today! We bought all of our cups, plates, cake plates, silverware, serving utensils, cleaning supplies for scouring the park bathrooms the day before, hat for the ring bearer, shoes for the flower girl, pants for the last groomsman, table cloth for the food table, and serving plates for the dinner. I can't believe how many hours we were on our feet. My shoes are made of wood and leather with no arches. Ouch. Fells good to get that done. We literally had to go to ALL of the store's locations around fresno to get all of the plates and napkins we needed. Cleaned the stores out.

Wendy and Andres got married last night, and it was a beautiful wedding! It's fun to go to wedding after having planned one. That was the last wedding we will have to chase bouquets or garters! Yeah! :)

I already know how fast the work week goes, and that means that at the end of this week we will have only one more week left! I'm not worried though. We'll square away the rentals and order flowers tomorrow. Everything's falling into place. Janet's coming the Wednesday before, and I am SOOOO happy to see her!! It's been almost three years since I saw her at HER wedding!

15 days and I'm doin fine :)

God bless Excel.
I have not been stressed AT ALL in a couple of days!! And I don't think I will! It feels SO good to know I am not forgetting anything!
I bought a few things I needed from Michael's today. My garter, some hair stuff, floral tape, and I looked at a few second hand stores to try and find a vintage suitcase and some giant curtains for decorating. No luck though.

Marie has been doing some research on rental places and she suggested we go with a different place than we had already decided. The only reason is that Walker-Lewis Rents does not do Saturday deliveries, but Expo does for a tiny fee of $30!! I will pay thirty dollars to not have to coordinate getting a trailer and making sure it all gets returned the following monday. Heck yes!! AND their prices are a tiny bit better. We will confirm on monday. I can't believe there are only two weeks left!! That's amazing! Time has seriously FLOWN by!

Wendy and Andres are getting married tomorrow and Wendy is REALLY stressed. I really don't want to be freaking out the last couple of days, so I hope everything just happens and I can wipe my hands of it all as I pass off responsibility to my coordinator at the rehearsal.

My planned wedding party transportation cancelled on me so I now need to find a 12-passenger van to rent, or ideally to borrow. I am praying that there is just someone in the Church who has one sitting around that we can use for the day and just have someone take back sunday, otherwise we will have to rent a car from saturday to monday because most car rental places are not open sunday. actually I think none are. No problem though. That's something that takes like a few minutes to set up.

I think the next major thing to do is the programs or the music.

16 days (that's 2x8) I LOVE EXCEL!!!!

I am not quite sure why I never caught on to it earlier. I knew about it all along. Used it in high school.

Today I sat down and organized my wedding thoughts into an Excel spreadsheet. It feels SO NICE to have all of my "worries" in one place!! Karen sent me hers she used for her planning, and so I kind of went from there and got it all together.

It's pretty great. Now I have a pretty concrete list of the remaining things i have to do for the wedding. You know those Paint-By-Number posters? When I think of all I have to do I picture that. When you start filling in the colors it just looks like chaos, but as the little circles slowly fill in as they were mean to the picture begins to emerge in all it's complexity and beauty. That's what it looks like in my heat...Just a few more circles to paint in and we will have a WEDDING!! :)

17 days. Tired of saying goodbye...

Goodness. I am really looking forward to spending evenings and nights with Caleb. It's tough to only see him for 15 minutes in the morning, and three hours or less after he gets off work. So lame.

I'm looking forward to not stressing anymore. I noticed today that even if I can't do enything for the wedding, I am still stressing about it. SO unfair. I can't take a day off because then I worry all day that there is something I am missing.

I need a vacation.

I found out that my mom has enough money to come to my wedding!! I'm really excited. I knew everyone would make it somehow, but they are all broke, so I knew it would probably be a stretch.

Still not sure if my sis and Natasha will make it to the bachelorette party. I really hope so.

I am pretty excited because my emotions seem to be under control a lot more than they have been for four months. I have not even cried in over a week! That is impressive.

17 days is really short. 16 is shorter. That's insane...

19 days. shut. up. 18 days is only two nines!!

This morning I had jury duty. Yes. 19 days before my wedding. I have never served on a jury so I didn't know what to expect. But, it wasn't much different than I thought. Cranky people who don't want to be there. The most "educated" of all of them make SURE to loudly proclaim why they should not have to be there, because they are a dentist, or a retired lawyer, or a manager of 35 workers.
It entailed a lot of sitting around. I had to be there early because of the whole car-sharing thing. I got released by 11:30 because of "economic hardship," which is actually a legitimate excuse. I'm only getting about 6 hours a week, and without that I will not be able to pay rent.

Petra picked me up and we went to go jump start her car battery. When we got there we realized her back window was busted in. Someone had broken in to her car sometime between 2am and noon. We called the cops and they said they would not come out because they are too short staffed. Beautiful...

Petra and I picked Jason up from Table Mountain around four. We almost got in an accident in the garage. Both cars skidded. I hate that feeling after adrenaline.

Caleb picked me up after 430 for our chiropractic appointment at 5. We almost hit a trash can lid, then a trash can that someone lost from their truck on the way there. I have never done the chiropractic thing. I popped a lot! I felt SO much taller afterward. :)

We went to Chipotle for dinner. I love chipotle.

After that we went and picked up two of our Young Life kids for club. They make me laugh a lot. One is named Anthony, and the other is Chris, but he goes by "Beaver," which I guess is his middle name.
Twenty minutes later we arrived at club. Christen Morrow was there!!! I was SO happy to see her.

Club was a "hang-out night" so we just did games. There were a couple of new boys, and they made me laugh. One of them had brought his "robo-kitty" named Sophie.

After club my body started aching. I think there was too much adrenaline in this day...that and I think there is too much lactic acid in my body from the shocker machine at our appointment.

I could really use a hot bath. SO glad I don't have jury duty tomorrow!

20 days. Garage, favors, & tempur cloud- supreme

Yesterday was a long day. Care connections started at 8:15, and immediately afterwords Marie and I headed over to the house to clean out Grandpa Leo's garage. The day was SO HOT!! and we got a LOT done. The plan was to set out a pile of garage junk to take to goodwill. We did and the neighbors came and took literally all of it! That saved us a LOT of trouble. It looks GOOD!! :)
Today Caleb and I finished the wedding favors! That feels nice.
I remember when Wendy posted a status saying "only 20 more days!!" I remember thinking that was REALLY SOON. Now we are there. Geeze. 20 days. I am SO excited to be done planning...but I'm not sure all of the strings are tied.
We have decided we really like the new tempur-pedic cloud supreme. It's AMAZING!! I love just laying on it for like 5 minutes, because even that short amount of time makes my back feel considerably better. 
Really. I can't believe it. 20 days!!

22 days and getting crazier by the day

I showed up to work today at 8:15, thinking I had to have Joel ready by nine. My boss came out confused. Then I remembered. 1) I had told Lisa she could have this morning, and 2) today is NOT a normal schedule, therefore Joel does not need to be ready until 10! Two strikes against me before nine...

23 days. The Awful Great Day

It's possible that I have not been this frustrated before in my life. I might be exaggerating, but it was a pretty awful beginning to a day.
I'll start by prefacing it with my last-night frustration.
I posted a status on Facebook asking if anyone could help me find a connection for an OT or Preschool Aide positopn. Almost immediately my friend Aubrie responded saying she works at a preschool so she will talk to her supervisor the next day (today). Then she suggested I check into a website for job postings. I did, and I found a job opening for a special education aide in central district, full time! AND the application deadline was September 30th at 300pm!! So I knew I had time. I started on the EXTENSIVE application and two hours later I was on page five of six, needing to scan a copy of my CBEST scores and my diploma...and the printer was in Alex's room. She had gone to bed two hours earlier. I was not sure if the application would time-out if I left it open. So after realizing it was not helping to panic, I decided to go to bed and pray all my work would still be there in the morning.
This morning I went to work and was off by nine. ** Side note: It's pretty awesome that just when my car breaks and my roommate's car will become unavailable (when she returns from her honeymoon), is exactly the time my hours change. I do not have to have Joel ready until nine now, which is perfect because it takes me 45 minutes to get him ready, 15 minutes to get there from dropping Caleb off at work, and Caleb has to be to work by 8. Absolutely perfect! Praise God.**
SO I was off work and now I needed to get into my roommate's room to use the scanner. I got home and went in...and her printer apparently does not have a scanner, to my dismay. So then I was down to the task of finding another scanner. I found two more printers in the garage, which would have both been perfect, but neither have cords.
I knew Caleb for sure had a printer, so my new task was to go to his house, scan to his computer, send it to my email, then attach it to the application back at my house. No problem, right?

So I was driving Karen's car. I picked up Petra and her puppy, Auto. We drove to Caleb's house and pulled into the driveway. I pushed the car into park and went to take out the keys and they would not come out!! I tried pulling it out of park, putting it back in, restarting the car, moving locations, and nothing! They would not come out!! It was really hot out so I would try to prop open the door while I struggled with the keys, but then the chime kept going off because the door was ajar, ant the puppy kept on panting and climbing all over. It felt AWFUL! So we gave up and decided to lock all the doors but the passenger and leave the keys in.
We went into the house and I looked around...and NO COMPUTER! (are you KIDDING ME?!!). So then we decided to go to the library and use their scanner and put it on my zip drive (I just happened to have in my purse). We pulled up to the library and I got out, but then realized I had left my keys (with my library card) in the car with Petra and the dog. Or so I thought. No where...and my phone was no where to be seen. So I decided to use Petra's card and went inside. But they don't have scanners apparently...
So we decided we needed to go back to Caleb's to get my keys and phone. We did, then we went and found Kinko's copies. I walked in and the greeter welcomed me and asked if she could help. I said PLEASE!! I asked if she could do what I needed and she said it might be pricy. I said I don't care what it costs! They took care of it and got my docuuments into a PDF file and onto the zip drive. I thanked them profusely and paid the "steep" price of 55 cents. OK, really... I would have paid $55 at that point!
I ran back to Petra at the car (she, of course, had to stay with the car because the keys still would not come out. We went back to my house and loaded the files up and finished the application (which, THANK GOD, has auto save before it logs itself out!).
And so I turned in my application, took a shower, and konked out for a nap.
Finally my flustered feelings began to fade, and we were able to get quite a bit done for the decorations and favors for the wedding. Caleb came over and made dinner while we (Petra, Beth, and I) worked.

All I could think while I was feeling so panicked was that I really wanted to honor God. But all I thought would relieve my frustration would be to cuss. I hate that feeling.
I hate feeling so overwhelmed! I can't wait till the wedding's over and I have a job. I REALLY hope things slow down drastically then.
Caleb prayed with me tonight and really encouraged me that even though I thought I had had a bad day, it still turned out to be a really productive one and that he is so proud of me for getting that application out. That would be so nice to have that job...it would be ideal if it is like a disability elementary-age class! To me it seems like today was so much of a struggle that either I am really not supposed to have this job, OR I really AM supposed to have this job and it will be great for me. We will see. I can't imagine there are a whole lot of people looking to work with kids with disabilities. Luckily that is kind of a specialty area.
I also have three other connections to preschools: Aubrie's, Elisha's out in Madera, and Petra's friend  Felix's wife's. It feels really nice to have connections. It seems that is the only way people get jobs anymore.