Turbid waters, Self-pity & Mind Renewal

I was forewarned that marriage would stretch me to need to be more selfless.
It's true.
A good friend told me that marriage tends to be a bit of an adjustment, but the way she explained it makes total sense now.
She said that the joining of two lives is like the coming-together of two rivers.
She said at first the two rivers are floating along just fine at their own pace, following their own course influencing the world on their own.
But then the two rivers converge and there is crashing and splashing and tumult, but then eventually the two rivers as they flow as one begin to settle into one pace and the chaos stills as they learn to flow as one.
I like that.

We got a card as a wedding present and I love what it said because it reminded me of this.

"A wedding is like the joining together
of two streams forming a new river. This
river will follow a new course as it moves
through landscapes that have never been
explored before. The purity of its waters ,
blessed by God, will bring life, love,
strength, and beauty. As the river travels
through seasons and change, there will
be many tributaries that feed into it, each
bringing its unique gifts, blessings, and
joys. In time, the river will grow in width,
in depth, and its influence upon the
lives of those who rest by its banks and
are refreshed by its presence."-Roy Lessin

This past week has been one of learning each other. Caleb is really clean, tidy, and considerate so there really isn't anything he does around the house that makes me upset. I am also not very particular about things like toilet paper direction, toilet seat position, or really anything in that category. But I am realizing that he is a little bit more particular than I am, which is fine. It just takes a lot more learning on my part. I am realizing that I tend to have a little bit more of a rebellious nature than I thought. I caught myself being pretty pouty one night at all of the things I have to remember.
I find myself having to pray for a servant's heart. It's good for me though. Really good.

Another friend warned me before marriage that insecurity may rear its ugly head early on in marriage. I think in a different sense than she warned, this has been true for me. But the thing I found the most helpful was her advice, because I find that when I worry about something or am just feeling self-pity it tends to take over my brain and temporarily incapacitate the freedom of my thoughts. She said that I must take every thought captive to the lordship of Christ. So I have been praying that prayer when I feel selfish, just surrendering my fears and feelings of inadequacy or self-pity. It's incredible how instant the relief comes!