Day 39 (left)
I have decided to create a blog, in hopes that I can let off a little steam, and thus not become “bridezilla.” I hope I don’t come off as a jerk. I just want to be honest with what’s going on in my head. If I look like I’m complaining here, I am. I just think it’s better here than in public.
It’s hard to believe that I will be married this Christmas. Married. That's just an insane thought.
I have heard that wedding planning is difficult, but I had NO IDEA how many details there were!! I find myself on overload constantly. And when I do that I just want to shut down and take a nap. But I can’t because my mind never slows down!
I think the three most frustrating things about wedding planning are:
1) “No’s”: Deciding who to NOT invite. If I could I would have anyone come who wants to…but that gets SO pricy!
2) Opinions: People “thinking things through” that I already have, and offering “advice” I have already considered. There is so little brain time to think about all of the little details that go into planning that it spills over into my dreams…so when someone begins to tell me something I should consider, I find it very difficult to patiently sit there. I LOVE that people care (don’t get me wrong!), but wedding planning is my life right now, so if I have not thought it through, it is not important…and if I have, I don’t want to re-hash it.
3) Ducks-in-a-row people: There are few things that hurt more than when I hear someone talking-down to Caleb. There are a hand full of well-meaning men who think they have it all figured out. Many of these types of people write books on how to date. These men always start by asking questions on how Caleb did something. “How long have you dated?” “How much money did you spend on her ring?” “Do you have stocks and bonds?” And then every time he answers they exclaim how “unprepared” he is or how he should have waited another year to marry me. Honestly people. Everyone is different and I hate when people have unattainable standards.
I have a theory I have been testing... I guess that makes it a hypothesis. Those who have the highest standards for relationships for other people are the ones who have messed up in the past. I think it’s true, because people who did things right have nothing but trust for Caleb! They believe in him and encourage him to continue being the great man he is!
Today I went out to Kearney Park with my roommate Beth. She will be my decorator for the wedding. I think it's going to look really nice. She and Bree both have a great creativity, which I struggle to have. I can tell when something looks good, but I often can't create it from nothing.
I also ordered a dance floor. They are really expensive to rent! My goodness! We nearly decided to have people dance on the ground...but Caleb decided that would be tacky. But I really think it will be nice to have an actual floor because we are having swing dancing. From the girl's perspective, spinning is much better on a floor than...gravel. I think many people will agree.
In addition to wedding planning, I am also in the process of job searching. I finished my resume last week and my cover letter today. I want to pass them out to prospective employers this week. But another thing I am plagued by recently is the sudden loss of my Sadie Saturn. Her transmission went keh-put the day of my bridal shower and she's not worth fixing. So Caleb and I will be sharing a car until well after the wedding. So...THAT's gonna be a blast (**sarcasm intended)! It's not too terrible right now because my current boss in giving me literally 4 hours of work this week. Yes, I REALLY need a new job! But I am really afraid of interviews. So I have kinda been dragging my feet. So really the four-hour-work-week is a helpful kick-in-the-pants to get me moving in that direction. I passed the CBEST so I am trying to get on as a substitute teacher, but the rumor is that Central district is not even hiring right now so those prospects look bleak. But getting these resumes out could at least help me to get on somewhere as a part-time Occupational Therapy Aide.
I suppose I ought to be off to do something productive...
Love and peace!
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